Friday, March 7, 2008

What it is like to be a step father.

Hello my name is Rusty and I want to share what I have found out about being a stepfather. My wife and I was married 14 yrs. ago. I had two sons from a prior marriage and she had two also. The ages of the boys ranged from(at that time)my boys 16/18 her boys 8/11.I found out very quickly that there was going to be allot of trials. This story I want to tell you about ,was about her oldest son. My wife had been divorced for several years before we met. We dated for a year and I asked her to marry me. Everything seamed fine during the courtship with her and oldest son. But when the BIG DAY came for us to get married her oldest son just stood at the alter and cried. I never really understood what all the tears was all about until later years. As we were all growing up together, I found that her oldest son and I could not form a bond. I never understand why this was happening. I thought it was just the step father thing. To make a long story short, I also teach a class with the ministry I work with. One night as I was teaching, I felt the spirit GOD speaking to me. He ask me to go home and ask (we will call him Charlie) to for give me for marring his mother. At the time I thought this was very confusing. After the class was over I prayed to God to show me what this was all about? Driving back home that night I remembered a young man standing at the alter crying while we were getting married. Then I realized what had happened. The period of time that had passed during my wifes divorce, Charlie had stepped into the role of being the head of the household at the age of 11. He was going to make sure that his mother was going to be taken care of. So when we got married he felt like I was taking his mother away from him and he was losing his position. That was why almost every time we were together I could feel the tension between us but did not know why. He could make me feel angry just by walking into the room. I knew this was not the Godly way to feel about him. So driving home that night I prayed that God would please have him at home(he was now 18 at this point)and I would tell him what God had showed me. Being the doubter (that I am sometime) that I was really hearing from GOD. I ask God to have him at home and his car in the driveway and when I got there I would that care of business. At that point in Charlie's live we never knew what time he would be home at night. Then again being the doubter that I was sometime, I ask God to have Charlie to be at home with his car in the driveway and have him in our bed room setting on the bed talking to his mother, boy that was really asking allot huh. As I drove home and pulled into the drive there set his car, wow, I said sorry God for not trusting you. I walked into our home and down the hall to our bedroom and there set Charlie on the bed talking to his mother, WOW again....Sorry God again... I then asked Charlie to come into the living room with me I needed to talk with him. I began to tell him what God had showed me and asked him to forgive me for marring his mother and that I was not ever trying to come between him and his mother. He understood everything and did admit that he had anger built up inside of him about this for all these years. He forgave me and told me that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him and his younger brother. So listening to the still small voice that comes from God helps me be a better step father.

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